Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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