Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
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Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died