i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.