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Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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