I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you