Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...