Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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