Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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