You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
