Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
