I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
