What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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