woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize