I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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