please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
