Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
