It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
