Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
