She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
