Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
