bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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