How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
