I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
