I'm so fucking centered right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Acid is not a monday night drug
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
