my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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