Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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