Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
