Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
