And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
