Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
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No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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