Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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