Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can you bring me the toilet please
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
