yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
