Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My ass is underappreciated
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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