I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
