I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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