So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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