How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
North Korea, Best Korea!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
