Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
