Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
