so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My ass is underappreciated
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
