Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
now i know why i became what i already was.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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