Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
