i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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