How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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