a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
