oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize