If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
