i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
