He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My ass is underappreciated
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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