Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
