I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
