do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
