sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My dad just said "fuck circus"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize