This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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