so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
