Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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