He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
