its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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