I'm going to jail i love you
i permit you to call me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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