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Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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