Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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