Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize