According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize