Have you finally orgasmed yet?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
