i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
