Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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