Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
