and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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