im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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