I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
